Better late than never.

The plan was to have this posted a few weeks ago, but between life, work, and me being me, it didn’t happen. I’ve decided to treat this blog like life.  It’s not always how I think it should be, sometimes I need to relinquish control and let it happen organically.  I’m learning that I am okay with that, or at the very least, I need to be.  I said I wanted a deeper connection, between diving and the blogging process, I’m finding it in ways I did not anticipate. Honestly, I’m feeling a bit all over the place right now.  More time than I’d like to admit has been spent over the last few weeks compiling video, editing photos, fighting wi-fi connections, and generally fighting doubt as to whether I could do this in a meaningful way or if anyone really cares.  I’m in strange territory here, placing my thoughts and experiences out here is a bit uncomfortable at times.  Hubby often says I over think things, often he’s right.  I decided to say screw it and walk away for a few days, it’s exactly what I needed.

Some of the following I wrote as it happened or at the end of each day.  A good portion of it was written after we arrived home.  At times, I had a glass of wine in one hand, so……please forgive any lack of continuity or the slaughter of grammar.  I’ve been staring at these words for several weeks and they are starting to run together. Ha.  I’m not sure if I am having great white shark withdrawal, diving withdrawal, or a mixture of the two.  If you’re a diver you know what I mean.  Is there a name for this feeling?  I think I’ll call it…..Post Dive Reflection Depression.

I am never disappointed in nature, it always finds a way to show me a reflection of myself or humanity.  I want to say thank you in advance for reading this and taking the plunge with me; into the waters of Isla Guadalupe, and into what I consider (at times) to be the abyss of my own mind.

Friday, September 4, 2015   ~San Diego, Ca.      

Well, I almost killed a woman at the bar with my backpack, I swear I’m like a bull in a china shop.  I am proud to say, however, that I packed everything I needed for the week in one large backpack, except for the cameras and the computer.  I apologized and offered to buy her another glass of chardonnay, she looked at me as if I was a crazy person. The look wasn’t for knocking into her, but for offering to buy her another glass.  We mid-west folks are just so nice that it shocks some people. HA!  I had a good laugh as I sat down with Hubby and ordered a pizza and a vodka cocktail.  Yesssssss.  This is just what I needed to rid myself of the last bit of gnawing anxiety.  This trip seems too good to be true, the past week I could not shake the feeling that something would throw a wrench in it!  I’m sure Hubby is relieved too, I’ve likely been a PITA the last couple of days. Pizza Nova was recommended by Shark Diver as one of a few restaurants to grab dinner prior to boarding.  We start boarding at 8:30pm, so we have a few hours to kill.  The pizza was fantastic and so was that drink.  I’m tempted to order another one, but then I realized I’ve got to walk back by the bar on the way out.  A drunk bull isn’t any better.

We are scheduled to meet at H & M Landing for boarding, thankfully Pizza Nova is just a few paces away.  The dock was teeming with chartered fishing boats and what seemed like a thousand fisherman preparing for a testosterone filled Labor Day weekend. I can only imagine the big fish stories and BS they come back with!  Despite the craziness of the crowd we found a fellow diver, she was easy to spot sitting on a huge Pelican case covered in dive stickers. DIVER!  We introduced ourselves and 15 minutes later James from the M/V Horizon arrived to take us to the boat for check in.

The welcome we receive from each crew member is warm and full of excitement; galley crew Mark and Shea, captains Spencer and Ryan, deck crew Chad, James, and John, and dive masters Lalo and Martin. The energy on the boat is electric, they’ve already had 5 trips this season so they know what we are in for.  I can tell the crew wants to get to Guadalupe just as bad as we do!  I’ve been following the last 5 trips and so far they’ve encountered between 15-30 different great whites, pods of dolphins, a pod of orca’s, and even a whale shark.

As we filter in and meet the other divers, I task myself with the memory name game.  You know that game, Holly bolly bo bolly banana fana fo folly.  Silly I know, but there are 24 names to remember and it works!  In my head I’m hearing the sing-song tune with each introduction and silently laughing at my absurdity.

Cindy Michaels, Director of Communications for Shark Diver, is a doll. Unfortunately she’s not traveling with us, but she made sure we were all taken care of.  I think Hubby was smitten the moment she presented him with a bottle of Arrogant Bastard Ale.  He sweet talked her into ordering a custom Shark Diver beanie for him, he needs something warm for his pretty chrome dome and he’s hard to say no to, HA!

After completing paper work and verifying our passports, we had some time to walk around the boat, find our cabins, and chat for a bit. We were all on board by 10:00 pm and our departure scheduled for midnight.

It was evident that we were going to be a fun group.  Mark sent James and Ryan out to buy more beer.  Apparently, we were drinking the leftovers from the last group and he noticed we put a dent in what was allotted for our 5 days!  We are the party boat!  I checked out the dive cages strapped to the back deck, I’m not exactly sure what I expected, but I  cannot wait to crawl in!

We left the dock early, around 11:00pm.  Spencer gave us a welcome speech and Ryan went over safety and general information. Martin, the owner & CEO of Shark Diver, spoke to us briefly and introduced Peter Kragh, our photography host.

I’m wired, between the three hour time difference and the excitement, sleep isn’t an option for me.  Hubby went to bed after we reminisced about our first trip together, it was San Diego and Baja.  We stayed at the Hotel Del Coronado and then drove down to Las Rocas Resort & Spa in Rosarita.  I’m not sure where the time has gone, but it feels as if we were just here.  San Diego will always be special to us even though it took 17 years to return.  Seven weeks ago this was just an entry on the bucket list.  Now it’s reality.

My thoughts bounce back and forth between our first trip and this one, it feels a little strange.  It’s as if time has compressed in some way.

September 5, 2015   ~Cruising the Pacific.

I went to bed around 1:00 am only to wake up at 3:00 am.  There was no sense in fighting it, so I decided to make a cup of tea and peruse the white shark identification log.  I scared James to death, poor guy, he wasn’t expecting to see another soul alive at that hour.  The Guadalupe Island White Shark Photo-ID Book and the Marine Conservation Science Institute Identification Program.  Say that fast three times!  The 2015 ID log consists of 170 photos of individual sharks, named and numbered. Turns out, a shark isn’t just a shark.  They are easily identifiable by their fin shape, scars, and white patterns.  Fingerprints, if you will. MCSI sells the books for $80 and all proceeds go towards conservation.  I plan on watching shark week with the ID book in hand!  I am a dork.  You’re a dork too, you tried to say it fast three times didn’t you? Ha ha.

Scientists have been studying the great white sharks of Guadalupe since 2000.  The ID program was started in 2002 as a means of creating a database for identification and to track individual sharks that visit the island seasonally.  Martin asked us to share our photos so they can identify returning sharks and help discover new ones.  This, of course, is on a volunteer basis.  If you are a professional photographer they understand not wanting to share your photos, but ask if you might share them after they’ve been copyrighted. On occasion, there is an opportunity to name a new shark either by the photographer who took the photo, or by auctioning the naming rights and donating the proceeds to shark conservation.  I have two names in mind if the opportunity arises, l’l Timmy or Dorothy! Dorothy, not because I’m from Kansas, but in honor of my 98-year-old grandmother!

Today we are cruising the Pacific, but first we docked in Ensenada, Mexico.  Customs agents boarded the boat to check our passports and we were joined by a young researcher named Laura.  After we were given the all clear, we headed straight out to Isla Guadalupe. Breakfast was excellent; pancakes, eggs, some of the best bacon I’ve ever had, fruit, cereal and all the usual fare.

We will be fed well on this trip!  Chef Mark is very accommodating as long as you give him a heads up. The daily menu is on the board, so there’s plenty of time to let him know if you have a different preference. Shea tracked us down to take our orders, talk about service!  After breakfast we tried on our wetsuits to make sure they fit.  There is nothing else fitting into mine, but hey, if it zips it fits, right?   As much as I prefer my own wetsuit, I was relieved that I did not have to pack one.  Shark Diver provides everything you need for the dives.  Even though I’ve become fairly efficient at packing and was able to pack one bag, I’m sure I still overpacked.

It feels as if we are a week away from arriving at Guadalupe, not 12 hours.  Time is moving very slowly which is something we rarely experience.  No Phone, no TV, no WiFi.  The anticipation is killing us all, but we are using the time to get to know one another, which is quite nice.

The other divers include a mother and son honoring the wishes of the husband and father they lost in January. Two young women suffering from incurable wanderlust.  A triathlete and nature lover pursuing her dream career in professional photography.  A young couple in their early 20’s who’ve been dating for 4 months. Two Brothers looking for adventure, a couple of single divers who’s spouses couldn’t make it, and a married couple with 25 dives, now growing their scuba addiction. Some are scuba certified, some are not.

Crew member Lalo has worked with great white dive operators in South Africa for the last 12 years.  Chad is an accomplished spearfisher and writes for a magazine.  Everyone has a story about what this trip means to them.  There is no doubt, whether diver or crew, everyone wants to be here.  We also have a chance to talk with Martin.  To meet Martin Graf is to instantly like him.  He strikes me as a no-nonsense man.  If you listen to him talk about the sharks, you know that he is not living in a fantasy world.  I mean he is to a point, he gets to interact with great whites for weeks on end which is a dream come true, but he is realistic about their nature and highly respectful of them.  You won’t find him diving outside of the cage, not with the great whites of Guadalupe; however, he does get out of the cage for bull sharks.  Shark Diver now has a trip to Fiji that operates during the month of May.  No cage, no problem.  Guess what’s high on our list now.  Yup.

I’ve got a big birthday coming up…..hmm…..  HA!

We learned more about Peter, he won an Emmy Award in 2013 for outstanding cinematography on Nat Geo Untamed Americas.  He has worked on the BBC series Planet Earth and BluePlanet, as well the IMAX films Journey to the South Pacific, Under the Sea 3D, and Humpback Whales.  He assures us that the 65 lb camera he brought is the “small” one.  I’m always fascinated by how people end up where they are. Fifteen years ago he was a dive master and was in the right place, at the right time, with the right people.  I’m sure I’ll pick his brain and annoy him!

The ride out to the island has been a bumpy one.  I am feeling a mild dose of nausea even though I applied my Scopolamine patch yesterday around 6:00pm.  Hubby has a better constitution for this than I do, he’s doing just fine sans patch.  There are a few of the other divers feeling like I do, but one young woman was vomiting last night and I think she is still in bed as I write this at 5:00 pm. I feel for her, I do, but I think she waited until it was too late to take medicine.  Shark Diver gives fair warning in regards to sea sickness, it’s up to the diver to stay ahead of it.  I’d say the waves are between 4-7′ which doesn’t sound like a lot, but it feels like a lot!  I would do this again in a heartbeat, despite the nausea. I think Hubby and I are both hooked on the liveaboard experience.

In addition to the slight bit of nausea, I have not found my sea legs yet.  By the end of the day I may end up in someones lap while walking through the saloon. Hopefully it will be Hubby’s and I can avoid the embarrassment, but this is graceful me I’m talking about.  The good news is that you make friends very quickly that way!  Staying outside seems to subdue my nausea, but my eyes are playing tricks on me when I look to the horizon.  The whitecaps are mimicking islands, I thought I could see cell towers or sail boats in the distance.  Nope.  Just my eyes tracing the whitecaps vertically. There is nothing around here for miles.  Nothing.

There is no choice today, we have to slow down.

As I stand at the bow with no else around, my thoughts sink pretty deep.  They lead me to a point of overwhelming gratitude.  I have yet to come to terms with how two human extremes can exist simultaneously on this planet.  On the other side of the world there are those who have paid a lot of money for a place on a boat, just as we have.  They have a broader destination in mind and it’s not a pleasure cruise. Ours is full of excitement and the thrill of personal discovery.  The other is full of fear and personal tragedy, the outcome of their journey unknown.  There are no beds, likely no food, no space to relax and read a book.  No safety measures in place.  We can argue the politics of any given situation, but I have to strip it down.  Down to a view that sees the individual human and their experience.  How can I possibly feel true gratitude for this experience if I don’t acknowledge the other?  I suddenly feel the need to tell my family I love them, but I can’t, there’s no communication out here.  I see a bit of irony and it humbles me.

I occasionally stress at the thought of turning 40, it’s thoughts like the one above that make me realize how silly and vapid that is.

We had some visitors this morning, not just customs officials from Mexico, but from a pod of what I believe were pacific white-sided dolphins.  I remember seeing pods of dolphins almost every morning at dawn when we stayed at Las Rocas. We happened to be sailing in the same area.  Hubby and I were lucky enough to see them twice, around 1 hour apart, when they were riding the bow.  The first time everyone ran to the bow with without their cameras, we learned to keep them at arms reach after that!  Martin and Peter spotted a whale off in the distance, but it disappeared before any of us could catch a glimpse.

As the evening closes there are a few of us headed to bed, but the rest of us want to  stargaze.  We climb to the top deck with beers in hand, tying not to lose our precious allotment with the sway of the boat.  It took a while for my eyes to adjust, but the milky way came into view after about 25 minutes.  I couldn’t wait to stargaze after our liveaboard trip last October.  I had never viewed the Milky Way in this rare form, only from photos I assumed were heavily photoshopped. Pinks, blues, and bright whites.  The hazy edge.  I wanted to get lost in it, at least until the next dive.  The masthead light was left on, so we never got the full effect like we did in October, but it is stunning regardless.

Hopefully I’ll sleep tonight.  I’m not betting on it.

Sunday September 6, 2015    ~ First Day of Cage Diving

I was in a daze when I woke up this morning.  I walked right past hubby without noticing him, he was in the saloon reading a journal and drinking coffee.  I grabbed a cup of coffee myself and headed out to the upper deck. As I climbed the ladder, I noticed the stars again.  It was around 5:30 am, the sun had yet to break the horizon, and I noticed we were no longer moving. As I looked up to take in the early morning sky, I turned so I could get a panoramic view, and a looming silhouette came into focus.  Isla Guadalupe. We had arrived and we were approximately 100 yards, give or take, from the rocky island.  I was caught off guard and said ”holy s&*t,” it made me take a step back.  It was startling to see something so large after what seemed like a week of seeing nothing at all.  I didn’t realize we would anchor so close to the island. Despite my best effort, I could not take a decent picture of it.  Imagine if you can, the deepest navy blue sky over a jet black, jagged mountainside, towering over your head.  As I laughed at myself, I sat down and realized I could hear the crazy sounds of the fur seals, it was as if they were laughing at me as well.  I drank my coffee and soaked it all in.

The crew began moving the cages into the water at sunrise.  Over the next two hours there was a palpable excitement on the boat, every single one of us has waited a long time for this!  Yesterday we were divided into A and B groups, each group has eight divers.  The dive schedule consists of one hour rotations, one hour in the cage and one hour on deck.  There are two cages, so four divers in each cage.  Group A was first today and we needed to be ready to get in at 8:00 am sharp!  After a quick breakfast we had our dive briefing on the basics of cage diving.  Watch your fingers, watch your toes, and keep your person in the cage. Yesterday was a day for slowing down.  Today, well, today is something entirely different.

THIS IS HAPPENING!

Hubby and I are in group A, I’m second in line to get in and hubby is behind me. Peter is joining us with his “small” camera which takes him a couple of minutes to situate once he’s in the cage.  He had spent the better part of the morning and previous evening preparing the basketball sized fisheye lens.  The water is a refreshingly chilly 70 degrees, but thankfully we have 7 mm wetsuits.  The water at Guadalupe is the prettiest blue I’ve ever seen, a sapphire blue, yet still amazingly clear.  The turquoise waters of the Caribbean are gorgeous, but this seems so different, as if it’s on another planet.

It took around 20 minutes before our first shark appeared.  Someone tapped me to get my attention and pointed below.  It was hard to see, but over the next few seconds the shape became clearer and recognizable.  Over the course of the remaining hour it circled below us and would rise slightly, only coming within 25-30 feet.  It would disappear and then reappear circling, almost in a conical fashion. Sunlight radiating through the water looks as if it is coming from the deep and occasionally it looks like the rays are coming out of the shark.  It’s crazy beautiful.

Our first hour was up, no close encounters, but we were not disappointed.  It was only 9am and we still had 3 dives left for the day!  Group B was on their first hour in the cages when the action really started. We stood on the deck and watched as the great whites came to the surface, moving around the boat and cages. We knew the next dive would be better!  Group B seemed to get a little more action than group A, but tomorrow we switch rotations.  Hopefully by 9:00 am they will be warmed up for us!  An hour goes rather fast, by the time we look through our photos and change the batteries in our cameras, it’s back in the cage!

The sharks we encountered today were: Biteface, Baggers, Hooper, Kinky, Mau, Drogin, and Legend.  Martin can tell you within 20 seconds which sharks are which.  I would say he likely knows the sharks better than anyone.  He was there the day Biteface became Biteface.

As day one winds down we are all on a natural high! We spend several hours sharing photos and videos.  It was fun to see the same video footage or photographs from a different angle.  Depending on where you were in the cage, you get a different experience.

In the first shark video above, at the 1:50 mark, you can see Baggers “attacking” the side of the right cage.  That clip was shot by Martin, he also captured the still shot below.

Cheri was in the corner of the right cage.  Her perspective was a tiny bit different!

There is not a bad spot in the cage.  The far corner is great for taking video and photos without the interference of the bars, but there’s plenty of action in the center.

We did manage to capture a handful of beautiful photos, here are a few of the good photos from today. We are very happy with the Nikon J4 camera and UW housing that we bought off of eBay!  Not too bad for $320 and a couple of recreational photographers! Hubby eventually let me use it, he was quite attached. I should’ve bought two!  He’s got some good skills.

Yesterday, while we were traveling to Guadalupe, Martin had said something that struck me.  I had thought about it myself and even written about it in my pre-trip post.  He had mentioned the way he came to be involved with the sharks.  He said he came out on the boat, got in the cage, and had a great white look him directly in the eyes.  Their eyes are blue, he never knew that.  He felt a connection, acknowledgement. He was hooked after that and knew this is where he wanted to be. He’s been coming to Guadalupe for twelve years.  After today’s experience, I completely understand why he has made it his life. I wanted that deeper connection and I got it.

As I go through videos, I am reminded of the difference between a perceived human experience and the actual events of an animal encounter. Two years ago, I was bitten by a dolphin at Anthony’s Key. Yes, bitten by a dolphin, sounds hilarious I know.  My sister gave me a loving reminder when I told her we booked this trip. “You’ve already been bitten by a dolphin, why in the hell would you get near a great white shark?”  I hope you read that with sarcasm and a general “you’re an idiot” tone.  I can hear her saying it even now and it makes me chuckle.

I remember staying very calm during the encounter, I did not freak out, but I was shocked to watch the video and see that it looked nothing like the experience I had.  I assure you….I was bitten.  Not enough pressure to cause damage, but there’s no doubt, it was enough pressure that if the dolphin wanted to drag me through the sea, it could have.  Easily.  If you watch the video, it looks like the dolphin just snapped at me, barely making contact.  It was so strange.

Thanks to this event, I am fully aware of how bias, emotions, and fear (despite my calmness) can shape the real-time individual experience.  It also reinforced that there is truth in that saying “always trust your gut.” I touched the dolphin despite my better judgement after it nudged me, much like a dog wanting attention. The dive master also motioned for me to pet it.  I was in an awkward position and possibly got to close to its blow hole.  It doesn’t matter now, lesson learned.  As cute as they may be, they are still wild animals and deserve space.

I mention the dolphin experience because there were several occasions that the sharks “attacked” the cage. During that experience it’s exciting and crazy, but when you watch the videos it’s evident that the sharks inadvertently hit the cage after going for the chum line.  There was no real attack beyond the shark just trying to eat the tuna head.  Sharks are powerful.  It’s hard to stop a forceful thrust or a quick turn from an animal that is 12′ or more and weighs upwards of 2,000+ pounds.  The heavy hand of an editor or producer looking for ratings can skew perception. We can be fooled into thinking that so called attacks happen unprovoked or intentionally when manipulation plays to our emotions, bias, and fears. My personal experience is that common sense and logic are not generally friends with emotions and bias. We need a fear of predators, we do, but we are also supposed to be the species on this planet with highest capacity for reasoning.  Fear of sharks is understandable, it is, but it’s often misplaced.

I can honestly say, without hesitation, I had no fear descending into the cage today. You shouldn’t either if you’re on the fence about going.  Certainly, if I was floating in the open ocean near Guadalupe with or without traditional dive gear and no cage, I would be worried.  Why would I be in that situation?  Well, I wouldn’t be unless the boat was possibly sinking.  Any fear I have is rooted in respect, education, and experience.  From a cage, this guy pictured below doesn’t worry me.  I wouldn’t put myself in a position to be worried.  There are individuals who freedive or scuba openly with great whites, I don’t necessarily think those folks are crazy.  A few seem a bit careless in my opinion, but I’m sure most are very calculated in their encounters with the animals, basing each encounter on education and prior experience.  If I was more experienced and studied great white behavior for a living, I might venture out into the open.  That’s a big might, why get out when it’s nice and relaxing in the cage!  In case you’re wondering, Shark Diver does not let anyone out of the cage.

“I’m showing people what they are, they are predators. You have to respect the nature of the animal. They are not our enemies, but they are predators. I love these sharks, but the feeling is not mutual.” ~ Martin

They are indeed a wild animal.  I view an unwelcome interaction with a shark as I would view an unwelcome interaction with a bear or mountain lion while hiking. This is where they are supposed to be.  Yes, even while you swim in the surf.  Yes, even in places where we may be diving that don’t generally have sharks.  One could appear.  That’s a chance we take, just as you take a chance while hiking.

An animal may approach and look for an interaction, much like the dolphin did.  Manatees do it frequently, and I have to admit, it’s hard not to give them a belly rub, but I don’t believe a meaningful interaction necessarily requires touch.  I did not see one diver reaching out to try and touch a shark today, and they could have, the sharks did come very close as you can see in the videos.  Most divers view touching anything on the reef or the animals in a negative light, but there are a few who see it differently.  I happen to think keeping your hands to yourself is best, but I realize there are exceptions.  There’s another post subject: To Touch Or Not To Touch, Navigating That Gray Area of the Sea.  Hmm….

I’ll stay on task for now and get to work on Part 2. There are more videos, more pictures, and more thoughts and experiences to get out of my head.  I’ve started going through videos from our second day of diving.  We had some very animated sharks that day! Hubby’s favorite, and most everyone else, was Hooper. We shot some great topside action and have fantastic drone footage shot by Martin which he so generously shared with us.

Now that you’ve spent a half hour of your life reading this, I hope you are considering trying scuba on your next vacation or with a local dive shop?  You can start small with a 25′ reef, no current on a sunny day, or GO BIG with the Great Whites of Isla Guadalupe!

Thanks for traveling along and indulging me, I hope you come back for part 2!

http://www.SharkDiver.com

http://www.PeterKragh.com